come awaken us

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Though Christmas is gonna be over in 10 mins time.
I really dont want it to end.
It's like I have been looking to this ever since forever.
I just love Christmas and how there are Christmas carols playing everywhere I go,
constantly reminding me of how much I can be thankful to God.

This year,
Chen Lu and Qing Le came to Christmas service with me!
We were almost late when Chen Lu's bus delayed but it's okay,
we managed to rush there (:
The whole sanctuary was so packed we had to sit at the back.
In the midst of running, the soles of my shoes came out :/
Oh wells,
that made Christmas more... memorable? hahah.

but Im still so glad the both of them can make it!
at least they have a feeling of how church is like!
It's definitely not the same as what they see in movies or Mr Bean series.
okay maybe it is for some other churches (: but we are all one body in Christ!

Bev bought me a skirt/shorts from Thailand
and Christal wrote me a card and gave me a notebook.
Im so touched by her card :')
She knows me so well that she can even predict when I will laugh when I read her letter (:
awwwh thanks Christal, I will use that notebook next year!

I shall end my post hereeeeeee and get some sleep (:

I look to the cross as my failure is lost

I just realised I havent blogged about church camp :o

It felt a little different this year, maybe because Lu's overseas again
and our cg are once again lost sheep without a shepherd hah.
We are probably too old to be lost sheep now anyways.

This year's camp is about what it means to be a Follower of Christ.
Honestly,
I was a lil apprehensive/anxious/uncertain before I went for camp.
Though we went through all the Bible studies during dg but leading them
to the campers in a clear and concise manner which captures the essence of the Word
is really not easy.
So I was kind of panicking but Im so glad Deb was there for me.
Im so so so glad that she's always there to go through the BS material one more time
before I lead the group.
I know we should be prepared already but somehow I just feel so insecure without that one
last time of last minute preparation.

Besides BS, we had games as well!
woah, im so impressed by my group's ability to crack codes during the mystery solving game
*thumbs up* hahah
 Not to forget, their enthusiasm during Amazing race.
They were more enthusiastic than me and I was supposed to be the one encouraging them
to stay enthu hah.
We went all the way from church to Discovery centre to Botanic gardens to Vivo city then to some
open space to eat dinner.
It's been a long time since I ran so when they were running in Botanic gardens,
I was lagging so much behind hahah.
They needed my phone to take pictures so I had to run with them!
Im so impressed by them, they ran so fast and it's like their stamina never runs out.
Baffled by how they can do that :o
In the end, I just gave them my phone.

Then there was the skit on the last night.
DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I HATE SKITS?
probably because during CCA camp performances, I saw how
awkward skits can get so I dreaded it so much D:
Though my group's skit was pretty... not complete but at least we tried!
On the side note, I think Christal played princess Jasmine really well.
I really admire how she can be so natural during the skit,
I was practically shaking on stage.
No, I dont have stage fright, I guess Im still fine with large crowds
but not when I have to act in front of them :/
Our Christal indeed (:


Luke 9:23
Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it."

We had talks as well then cg discussion after every talk.
What struck me was the fact that we are supposed to deny ourselves and carry our cross DAILY
and follow the King.
You know the kind of feeling you have when you hear something that struck you?
It's like something stirs in you and you feel that you have to respond.
So I asked myself have I been carrying my cross daily? Have I even denied myself.
As I look back, I was too busy living my own life and being bogged down during Os
to "deny myself" and follow Jesus.
I chose not to give the steering wheel of my life to Jesus and I really wished I did.
The journey during Os may not have to be so difficult and painful.

Sarah said we are exiles of the world and that we don't belong to it.
What the world find joy in is different from what we find joy in.
We have much more to look forward as compared to what we have now.
Sometimes I feel that I can only see the things before me and not the things
that come after because sometimes the future which Jesus promises seems so abstract and intangible.
I just can't see it as reality yet, maybe because we don't know when it's going to come
so I just pass it off as it's not going to come so soon anyways.
but Sarah told us that this is the reality, the reality is now.
We should be ready ourselves and share God's love to the people around
us so that they themselves can be ready too.

Let the ruins come to life In the beauty of Your Name

Rising up from the ashes
God forever You reign

Woah, in the blink of an eye, NCOC 13 and church camp just went past like that.
Church camp started on the day NCOC ended, so I haven't been home
for a week hahah. it feeels weird to be away from home for so long.

NCOC
Before camp and course day started, there was the instructor pre-camp!
We had to go all the way to HQ.
In short...
We went through all the lectures and even did the hiking route etc.
On the side note, a
ll the other instructors always stay up late but Amanda and I go to bed ( sleeping bags in this case )
really early hahah.
I remembered  vividly there was a thunderstorm in the middle of the night and it woke me up.
I was so glad Amanda was sleeping beside me hahaha,
what would I ever do without her?

Then there was course day,
it was really awkward with my group ELMA at first.
As the days went past and as we talked more during group interactions,
it became less awkward.
I think our group talked the most and laughed the most out of all the other groups in the end haahh.
I can be really quiet at times so thank God most of them are talkative people!

Campppp
It felt great to have camp back in SN again,
I really miss camping in school so everything felt fine (:
It was a traumatic start though, at least for Qing Le who forgot her beret and had
to go all the way home to get it ...
Hiking was great, I was gamemaster with Trisha (:
I thought it was going to be boring being a gamemaster because I rather hike with
my group and play all the games with them
but it turned out I was wrong!
I really thank God I got to be a gamemaster instead because if not,
I wouldnt have the chance to spend time and talk to Trisha for hours!
We talked mostly about what is happening in our corp and
we shared many interesting stories together!
So im really glad that I can spend time with her
since we havent met up since last year!
Ohhh, Camp performance was awesome as well!
Though the instructors performance was really really really last minute,
all of us had so much fun during the performance!
This is probably the first time I ever had so much fun performing for people haahha.
I ususally dread camp performances where I have to perform for people hahah.

I shall not go into anymore details but those were the
so called huge events of the camp!
I really miss Elma and all the other instructors/sirs/maams though.
I like how they give me the "one big family" feeling hahah.
If I ever go back to SJ,
the reason will be because of the people there.

achievement unlocked

Man I finally packed my room.
Gosh there were so many things :0
notes plus assessment books plus files.
even though I'm gonna give them away
but I can't even find a place to store them
before I do so lol.

off we go to the zoo and grad night

THE ZOO
I finally went there with The Study Group.
It was awesome and I was looking forward to it way before O levels ended.
We had a great time of fellowship
and I just love looking at the animals with them (:
Hahah I was thinking what if we get a sunburn just before grad night ahahah.

We rushed there right after the school's opening ceremony
and had KFC for lunch ( diet plan for Grad night went down the drain HAHAH )
and off we go!

I was really, really, really excited.
We saw many animals and it was great fun being a kid all over again
and re-learning all the things I had learnt when I went to the zoo as a kid.
The last time I visited the zoo was eons ago ho ho ho.
Who knew hippos sweat mucus and elephants can dance?
The otters and penguins were adorable!
Man, the zebras and goats area stink really badly,
I couldnt even breathe properly or go nearer D: Their poop was everywhere.
Oh and I finally got to see the Giant Rabbit which wasn't really very Giant...
or maybe it wasnt there or something.
I always wanted to hug a bunny,
when I was young I wanted to hug the one in the zoo but my mum refuses to let me...
wells, though I didnt get to hug it,
at least I finally saw it (:
The horses and ponies at the barn house looked really sad though,
depressed rather.
Maybe they are just tired or sad that they cant gallop around freely :(
it broke our hearts to see them so ... trapped :(

We saw many other animals... and birds!
Hui Jan was just terrified by the parrots' squawking.
She ran out of the forest area when she saw butterflies flying around hahah.
But not bad, she got near penguins which was quite commendable (:
*claps claps*

We walked for a few hours and this pretty much sums up the zoo trip (:
I miss them so much now D:
Sighhh

then there was GRAD NIGHT 20 Nov
Woah, everyone looked absolutely stunning and amazing!
I couldnt even recognise some of my friends!
We took lots and lots of pictures but I have to say my favourite
picture would have to be the one of me and Amanda (:
I walked around with Amanda and we went around exploring.
It reminded me of the times when we were in sec one,
we kind of went everywhere together.
haahah those were great memories (:
I really wish this isnt the last St Nick's event,
dont want to graduate so soooooon. :(
Watching my class video just makes me miss everyone even more :(

In a few hours time, I have to go for the NCO pre-camp!
Gotta go!

I will paint the stars with you

On Friday, right after Os,
I went to strictly pancakes with Ellysya, Wileen, Alicia and Qing Le.
It was heavenly, the pancakes I mean.
it's so fluffy and delicious yum
hahah our diet plan went down the drain.

We went to far east to shop for hours
and couldn't get anythinggg.
we walked for five hours and my feet was just dying.
this is why I wonder why people can walk continuously for so many hours, it simply amazes me :0
Hashtag notmeanttoshopforever ahahah

Yesterday I went back to school
with Sheng Hui, Amanda, Hui Yee,  Qing Le
for the yellow's camp.

We played badminton before that and
I was really rusty.
man dionis you need to brush up on
your badminton skills.

Then afterwards I star gazed with Amanda
for a lil while although there was only
One star ahahahah.
This is why we need to go overseas for more stars.
We talked a little about what we are going to do in our holidays and rejoice over the fact that NCO camp is gonna be in our school.
but we mostly lied there to admire the sky (:

Besides the awkwardness that I felt during the campfire, I guess everything was great (:
Im so glad that I finally got to spend time with them especially Sheng Hui.
I never talked to her for like a month already :0 we seriously need to catch up!

Okay this shall be on my bucket list : catch up with friends.

I really need to catch up with Amanda tooooo.
though she can't come for church camp,
at least there's still NCO camp (:
so thank God for that (:

Oh and I finally got my grad night dress and shoes. Like finallyyy.

I will walk into eternity with you

The sweetest thing happened today
and it definitely made my day.
someone gave me flowers on my way back to
church (:
it was a simple but heartwarming gesture.


To you people who can't wait to tease me,
sorry to disappoint you and myself
but it's not from my secret admirer ahahah.

I think it's some kindness movement
And it's given by a group of teenagers hah.

Yes we need more of such activities in our society today. May God bless them (:

all at once everything is different

Ah I just realised my previous post is the 100th post,

should have posted something special to 

celebrate but oh wells...

it's definitely something special since it's about Disney. 

I want to do so many things and go

to so many places! 

1) Can I please just celebrate Christmas now
I can't wait.
if Christmas is near, it means Os is ending.
that's what I have been like telling myself all this while.

2) see the Northern lights
I really want to see it like with my own two eyes and not just on TV screen or on the movie brother bear hahah.

3) stargazing :D 

oh please please please
can I just lie on the grass and do that.
Okay on second thought, no.
Somehow there isn't many stars here
and the grass isn't exactly nice to lie on hahah.

4) Disneyland
I think my previous post explains quite a lot.

5) Travel around the world

Actually I'm not sure whether I really want to travel around the world.
I mean who doesn't want to travel and see new things and meet New people?
but idk, I just don't feel like travelling around the world that badly.
I'm kind of always this conflicted with myself.
Maybe it's not really considered my dream yet.

6) sit on a hot air balloon
Okay I just thought of this a few seconds ago.
we'll it's not really my dream but it's
really awesome to be able to see the world high up from the clouds right?

A dream is a wish your heart makes

I don't know why but I'm so crazy over Disney since the start of this week.
Compelled to watch Disney movies, I went to rewatch tangled,  the little mermaid
and even princess and the frog ahah
all the princess related movies.

Its true when they say no matter how many birthdays you had, you're never too old for Disney classic movies (:

I guess I'm just captured by the Disney magic
in those movies and how the characters went through so much and lived happily ever after,
just like how any fairytale should be right?


Sigh THIS MAKES ME WANT TO GO DISNEYLAND SO BADLY D:

and the world has somehow shifted

oh gosh just now human geog was just...
Ugh.
tourism love, why did you not come out? :(

Today I was sharing with my friends
on how I got a nightmare about not being able to understand the Chinese compre no matter how I tried,  plus I was late for the paper hah.
then I found out Ellysya had a nightmare about it too and Wileen had a nightmare about geog.

This is all so... Stressful hah
but at least geog and Chinese is over, finally.
But I'm really nostalgic, can't believe it's like most probably the last time I'm doing Chinese :(

You will never fade away

As I was finishing my History essay,
honestly I felt a little sad that this is probably my last History essay I will ever write
in my life since Im not gonna take it in JC anymore...

I told my friends and they said they felt the same way too :(
we spent quite awhile being sentimental hahaha
but we promised each other that we will keep our study group alive
even as we go to JC (: YAY.
sigh I will miss them so much and what Im learning in secondary school now.

you take one step at a time there's no need to rush

Yay most of the papers are done! :D
at least the Sciences are done (:
tomorrow's history paper already!
I think I will really miss my
history/SS/ sometimes geog and even English
study group ahahah.
though we didn't really do much
and we only came into existence
not long ago, but I will still miss them :(
I will miss all the discussions we had,whether it was face to face or on
whatsapp and how everyone is so ready to share and help each other out.

I'm always learn so much when I'm with them! I really hope we can continue this into JC heh,  hopefully...

the clouds to the ground, won't you catch me now?

God allows us to experience the low points of life
In order to teach us lessons that we would only learn in no other way.
- C.S Lewis

I think C.S Lewis has to be my favourite author.
without him, I don't think Narnia will ever
come into existence.
to come up with a whole New and different world like Narnia is not an easy feat.
speaking of that, I really need to finish reading the Narnia series after Os.

Sometimes I really wish I can just be Lucy and have the privilege of discovering Narnia in my uncle's wardrobe so that I can escape this world and go to that wonderful and magical world and make snow angels everywhere. AHA.
Okay this is more than making snow angels.
I will tour the entire Narnia on my
trustworthy horse ( hmm if I can even get one)  and try to meet Aslan if I have the chance (:

Oh wells all this imagining is getting me too excited hahah.

someday

Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.

-C.S Lewis

Can that day be today?

I promise myself

To be careful during Math tmrw.
not a single careless mistake.
I will be meticulous.
I will I will I will

Drained

YES ONE PAPER DOWN.
I was so tired during compre,
maybe because it's in the afternoon.

Oh no then I'm so dead for all
my afternoon papers D:
okay no negative thoughts.

Anyways the essay question
I chose was ' how we dress reveals who
we are '
IT CAME OUT FOR MY SPEECH IN
SEC THREE.
But the teacher didn't go through it
she just asked me to talk about it
my points were so slip shod because I
only had three minutes to think.

If only I went home and thought
about it :/

my eyes look to you

I remembered I always prayed for the Lord's
second coming to happen during PSLE
so I didn't have to take anymore exams.

now that it's O levels,
my prayer changed.
I just pray that may He be with me.

Now that I think back,
I was really silly.
If Jesus really come again now,
will I be prepared to see him?
yes and no.
I think there's s lot of changes I need to
do to my life before I can say I'm prepared to
meet Him.
So many things I have yet done for Him.
On The other hand,
I don't think I can ever be prepared to meet
Him.
how can anyone say they are fully prepared
unless they persevered and ran the good
race.

During sermon today,
pastor Kenny mentioned how each of us
have to give an account to God on every
word and sentence that came out of our mouths and every single thing that we have done.

Although the Bible didn't really say how
we are going to be judged,
I keep imagining that my whole
life will just flash on this giant screen like a movie clip
and God will just pause it every now
and then and ask me why did I say this
or why did I do that.

will I have the answer to everything?
or will I be ashamed of some of the things I did in the past that I don't know how to answer Him :(

What am I gonna say when He asks me why I wasn't cherishing the time He gave me? :(

raindrops keep falling on my head

Today was rather a productive day with Nicole and Celine
at least I have part of SS out of the way

we are empire for lunch
and ordered a mega teriyaki pizza
and pasta to share.
the pizza was so heavenly
everything was mega sized so we
were so full and I just felt
so sleepy when we went back to the library D:

but because of grace because of your mercy I stand here unashamed

I think its pretty cool how we have a SS group chat
ahahaah.
they are probably my first ever study group.
it's quite fun to see all the fun facts that Christine post about the infamous dictators.
I must say my interest In history is once again aroused.
sigh humanities.
I shall go do SS noww

and when we finally meet, it will be for eternity

Today was quite a good day (:

Okay it didn't really start well because I was rushing out English essays for my English
teacher to mark before I met her for consultation. Hahah see Dionis, can you stop being so last minute.
honestly I didn't know what to ask so I just discussed essay topics with her.
Gahhh English Is like L1.
L1.
And I'm not prepared for it.
Good job Dionis.

Anyways I had tuition after that.
I think the most memorable thing was how Rhonda screamed when she saw the squashed dead lizard.
Ahahah I screamed the first time too.
It was quite hilarious because every group of girls who went past that road will scream heh.

We talked about having siblings on the bus.
I kind of agree that being the only child is great but sometimes I wish I have an elder or non-identical twin sister or an older brother.

Its so cool to have a non-identical twin sister.
This reminds me of Jayesslee.
its really amazing how God has used them to touch so many people's lives through their music.
Sometimes I feel that when two individuals come together with a common goal, God can do much more things through them.
so sometimes I really wish for a sister who can be beside me to encourage me and listen to me, someone whom I can drag to have lunch with and just talk to when I'm bored during Chinese new year ahahah.
But who says God can't use individuals too?
Maybe I got use to not having siblings that it might feel weird if He just decided to give me one now...

Anyways we had tuition.
I was really sleepy because I woke up so early today to do essays
and Nicole just had to throw the eraser at me when I was falling asleep and then she was sniggering at the back.
silly girl.
I will get back at you.  One day ahahah.
Okay I haven't got back at you for tying my shoelaces too.
hahah one day. After Os, I shall plan something big, just you wait hahahhah.
What a moral challenge eh? ( hahah inside joke)

Afterwhich I went to burger king to get dinner.
Then dad brought me and Mum for gelato ice cream,
yup they fulfilled their promise to bring me to eat one more time before O Levels.
I was so full my stomach was gonna burst, quite sure of that hahah.
Dad was being kind of greedy and almost bought the whole pint of ice cream but got told off by my mum instead ahahah.
AMANDA if you are reading this,
please let me go to the gym with you,
I really really need to work out after Os hahah.

challenge

I should have started this long ago.
hope it's not too late.
I shall not check my phone for the entire day.

I AM

The daughter of a King who is not moved by the world.
for my God is with me and goes before me
I will not fear

through emerald courts and sapphire skies

It's really heartwarming of Pei Qi to send me an encouraging
message for O levels (:
although we went to different secondary school, I'm so glad that we still keep in touch (:
I'm so touched that she still remembered
that I'm gonna take Os (she doesn't take Os you see)
so it's really sweet of her.
she's one of the many primary school friends
who helped me through primary school (:
always teaching me patiently and guiding me
when I'm drowning in Mr Lee's math questions.
I probably won't get into my current school or anywhere else if not for her.
yeah it seems like it's a small things but
it's these little small things that bring me to where I am now.

There's so many people supporting me,
I can't give up now.
I just have to run this last lap.
Yes Dionis, you have to run.

There's too much at stake,
either you give up and let
everyone down
or you give it your all.

She's not moving

I think I'm too blessed to be stressed (:
today my mum's CG leader and his wife
prepared this gift bag for me and the rest of
the people who are taking O and A levels.
It's really sweet of them (:
I'm gonna get fat though,
with all this Food that I'm getting hahah.
which reminds me of Nicole's slogan :
EAT LESS, FIT DRESS.
Ahahah I burst out laughing when I heard that, only she's capable of coming up with
such a slogan heh.
oh nooo but I'm eating so much, what if I can't find a grad night dress :/
It encourages me to know that they,along
with the rest of the CG are keeping us lil
kids in prayer as we battle the National
exam :')
awww.
They even asked for our timetables
just so that they can pray for us.
Aunty Irene's praying for me too,
despite the fact that I stopped
having Chinese tuition with her,
she still keeps me in her prayer and
send me occasional encouraging
messages :')

Sigh, I'm afraid too
but when I think of the people praying for me
And supporting me,
everything doesn't seem so scary now (:

BUT STILL
I'm not done with my revision so I
should go now hahah.

steadfast in Him

Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid
Do not be afraid

surely surely I tell you

" Surely God loves me more than a bird.
I have never seen a bird having a break down because he didn't know where his
next worm was coming from. GOD
teaches us that we don't have to worry
about tomorrow."

-Joyce Meyer

stop being different

I always thought that I was the memorizing type of person.
at least I use to be one
but maybe I'm not anymore :(
UGH I can't remember Geog for nuts D:
all the landforms, processes...
My mum always advises me to understand it.
come on, what is there to understand for geog?  :(
ultimately, doesn't it all boils down to key words/ phrases which means memory work?
Yeah I understand it but I can't express it in my own words.
Like how many words can be replaced accurately with another word? Hahah.
this is not some vocab qn hahah.
okay nevermind, I shall get back to worrkkk.

just like the Northern Lights

It was really sweet of Bev to surprise me yesterday.

I was having lunch alone, then when

I went back to the library, I found 

this survival pack from her with 

all the snacks that I like inside hahah. 

Finally

I thought I would never get to watch a movie until Os ends,
or rather I just dont want to because there's no timeeee.
But today I said yes to my parents when they asked me if I want to
simply because I want to spend more time with them.
It's a family hobby thing,
we all love to watch the action-packed, intense, exciting, martial arts kind of movie.
I have always enjoyed watching with them,
most of my memories with them probably involve movies and cinemas hahah.

We watched Out of Inferno and that's why I feel so inspired by firefighters now.
I have never thought myself to be a firefighter one day,
I probably can't be one too.
To be in a room with everything set ablaze and everywhere you look is just a vast sea of fire
is just so overwhelming, not to mention the intense heat and everything else.
I recently read an essay on the beauty of fire but all I saw on the movie screen was a picture
of ruin and desolate. Fire just scares me.
If I were the firefighter, I think I will be so despaired that I won't know what to do,
I think I will forget that there are so many more people to save in the building.
Im driven by my emotions too, so I will probably save my family members first.
In the movie, the firefighter couldn't choose because that's his job,
he has to save everyone.

So it's a really special and noble job,
& they totally deserve our admiration and applause (:
We should have a special day dedicated to them just like how we have teachers' day.
They ought to be celebrated (:

The movie was really good!
Thumbs up hahah.
I was constantly on the edge of my seat during the movie.
Im so glad I took time out to watch it even if Os is in 13 days hahah.

when will it ever be the last time we cross paths?

I'm on my way to Math tuition now,
probably the second last Math tuition I will ever have at Ms Tey's house before
I face the Math O levels.
I'm glad in a sense that this means there will be soon no more long train rides or
going home late on Monday night after tuition.
When I was in sec 2, she used to prepare us by telling us that sec 3 and 4 tuition will be later in the night.
I dreaded it, I didn't want to go home so late at night. So I mentioned to her once about this in my teacher's day card to her, I told her I may want to quit tuition because it's just too far.
hahaha look where I am now,
sec 4 and still attending her tuition.
If I can to choose again, I will definitely go for her tuition.
Without her, I wouldn't be able to overcome my fear of Math. Pri School totally took my confidence away. I couldn't do the Math questions at all without asking my friends for help for nearly every single question.
so my initial journey with Math was pretty rough.
I'm so thankful for Ms Tey (;
I realise how God has always blessed with me wonderful tutors who has such a positive impact in my life.
I don't think I will ever be who I am now without teachers like her (:

joy

The sermon during was on Joy- one of the Fruit of the spirit.
I thought I had joy,
til I learnt that joy was much more than putting on a strong front or constantly plastering a smile on your face.
Joy is the ever deepening awareness that God is always around.
Joy is what the world can never offer but God can.

We were challenged a few times to pray for Joy.
'challenged' because praying for Joy would mean that God might let us go through certain trials or difficulties because Joy can only be cultivated when we go through difficult times.
how else? Joy is not inherent.

This too, shall pass

I can't believe today's the last day of school.
It's so surreal.
I know I have been thinking about this since last year but I can't believe I have arrived at this point of time in my life.
It finally dawned on me how much I can't bear to leave SNGS.
Leaving four years of memories behind just doesn't seem right, Its as if I left a part of me behind too.

Today's prayer service was really touching.
I felt touched by every single person who went up to talk to us, to encourage us.
in SNGS, there's always so many people behind us, so many people keeping us in their prayers.
if so many of our teachers believe in us, why can't we do it , right?
I will miss them so much :(

They are right, we are so loved and protected here.
So loved and protected that just the thought of leaving this home of ours seem so intimidating :(

4Grace is probably the best class I ever got into.
Contrary to common belief, we are not full time muggers / geeks / nerds okay,
we actually have a lot of fun everyday!
everyday is an adventure and it's always filled with fun and laughter (:
I will miss the tie two pony tails day, bring your soft toy day etc with my class :(
Sigh,
No more wacky moments with Hui Jan,
no more singing so loudly til we disrupt the entire class moments with Amelia,
no more laughing so hard til we can't breathe with everyone else hahah

I think God really placed people in my life for a reason. To be able to know them is the best thing ever, especially all my desk mates.
I really have the time of my life with them and I'm so glad that I'm so close to all of them. We just click with each other so easily!
they are probably my best tutors, always patiently guiding me. My best comforters, for they are always beside me when I receive any test results. my best laughing companions for we laugh at everything together. My best alarm for they always wake me up when I'm about to doze off. Hehe.

You guys made a difference in my life (:

Jellybeans

I think the coconut jellybeans just scarred me for life.

So today, when kind Christine offered us jellybeans,
I don't know what came over me but I took
the white with yellow spots.
well, I should have known right,
hahah the colour says a lot.
Woah the first bite was appalling.
This sick pungent coconut taste just
Filled my whole mouth and I felt sick to the stomach.
Ew. I swallowed it anyways which was stupid of me :/ and then I gushed down water and attempt to get rid of the aftertaste.
wells the taste was gone after awhile but I felt so sick I was dying inside literally.
Hui jan suggested to neutralise the taste with another jellybean but NO.
NO MORE JELLYBEANS FOR ME.

Nah, I can't blame anyone,
it's just me trying to be adventurous.
This just gave me another reason as to why I should be resistant to changes hahah.

Anyways I studied with Yanling and Christine in school, it was quite productive & I'm really glad to be able to spend time with them. We had a really great time with all the meaningful conversations (:
ohhh we even managed to catch a glimpse
of the Lord's amazing artistry across the evening sky!
Though it was short-lived but definitely breathtaking (:

sometimes

You scare me, honestly.
Sighhh I have no time for this.

.

Sometimes I really don't know what to say to you.
One moment you mean this,
the next moment you mean something else :/
You give me this feeling that I can't trust you even after so long.

Oh weeeeeeells.
Who knows, we might cross paths again one day.
til then, cya.

you are bigger than any battle I'm facing

Lord I need you so much now
I feel so tired I don't know if I have the strength to go through this last lap.
As much as I don't show it or share it with many people, I'm weary Lord.
Please just let me know that you're there
to carry me through this.

Open our eyes and to see how to be in love, the world can't deny

Like torches in the night

The first DG leading session's over!
Picturing myself to stutter and stammer, I wasn't really looking forward to it.
The passage seems so dauntingly long, my points were all jumbled and was so many
points popping out everywhere. I just felt that I had to address everyone of them :o
I think I seemed a little bored because of the flu that I have, haahh though I tried
to be excited despite the nasal voice.

But Im so glad that I was able to do it eventually with God's strength (:
It was as scary as I thought it would be, mostly because everyone is so nice with their
comments and they are so participative (:
Im really encouraged by their comments but I know fully well that I have so much more to improve.
I definitely learn something new today (:

I need to work on my humanities, badly.
I can't get SBQ. It's so sad, I used to be able to do it :( sighhh
It's like I had a relationship with SBQ but yet we broke up, somehow ahahah.

Yes I should do that now.
now.
Time is running outtttt :(

The time will pass and beauty fades

I realized how I haven't been praying much, at least not as much
compared to the past. I miss how the joy of praying to the Lord.
It's quite ironic how I'm supposed to lead a Bible study in DG about the perseverance
in prayer.
It's not coincidental, it has to be God at work to tell me about how I should
do something about my prayer life.
As I was reading through the passages and analyzing each and every line of Luke 11:1-13,
I felt that God was speaking to me.
Thinking back, the absence of a prayerful life speaks of me trying to rely on myself and not God.
What was I thinking?
How can I doubt that God will bless me and hence, I should go around with the mentality thinking
that since God wouldn't give me what I want, I shall work for it and gain it on my on human effort,
regardless of whether He wants to give me or not.
No, it doesn't work that way.
Indeed, God does not bless me with what I want but He blesses me with what He thinks is best for me (:

As I got back my prelim results, I was... erm mostly neutral about it.
I was more caught up with my academic results in the past.
It's not that I don't bother about my results anymore, live with abandon and delude myself into thinking O levels is not coming.
No, it's just that in light of so many other things, it just doesn't seem so... I dont know.
In the past, there will always be this bitter feeling in me whenever I dont do well for a subject, I will
just go around with this feeling which makes me unhappy, uncomfortable and disgusted and then I will vow to work harder so I wont experience this form of failure again.
But this time, I really thank God that I dont feel this way anymore for prelims.
I thank Him that I improved in some subjects which I thought I can never do well in :o
It's a miracleeeeee.
Duh, im not some straight A student so I still didnt do well in some subjects BUT Im so thankful to the Lord
that I He has helped me to be joyful even when I dont do well  and to be genuinely happy for the friends who do well (: instead of wasting time feeling disappointed or counting the number of people which I disappointed. :/
Ahahah, now that I think of it, my attitude towards failure was so meaningless in the past, it got me nowhere.

As O level approaches, I  just want to walk with God side by side and face this battle together with Him .


"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."


John 15:5

You're an overcomer

I just want to say that you have a really really really special place in my heart!
As I said before to you, 10 years down the road, when I look back to my secondary school
years, you will definitely be inside those memories. Simple reason: because you form a really big part of it!
I dont think I can ever forget you, no matter how hard I try ahahah.

Though our friendship went through really rough patches during sec 1 and plus
we had constant worries about how we will lose each other since we are no longer in the same class...
but as I look back now, I finally understood why God let that happen.
It's because of all these things that I cherish this friendship so much more
and learn how to be a better friend to you and to others.
We had to go through so much just to see how much we have grown from this friendship.
I know how much you have put into this friendship and how you're always there for me.
I dont know why but I can remember events quite vividly but never Geog statistics or History content
hahah so rest assured that  I really remember all the times you were there for me. really (:

I really enjoyed myself with you during youth camp last year!
It was like a marathon, after AN, we immediately went to youth camp the next day.
Hahaha, im so sorry to make you wake up so early just to go to youth camp early afternoon the next day.
Im so gladddddd we can grow spiritually together during the camp! (:
Don't you agree it was such an adventure?
Now that I think of it, I was with you for 8 days straight :o

SO THIS YEAR...
I hope you can go to youth camp with me again!
It's from 9-12 Dec
I wanted to invite you face-to-face but I didn't have a chance last week and Im so excited that I have to ask you before the next tuition hahah.
I reallyyyyyyy hopeeee you cannnn comeeeee, hehe let me know alright! (:

When you don't know what to say,

Just say Jesus!



It's one am, seeeee this is what you get for not doing your work and watching television instead >:
I really want to go on a movie marathon with my family after O levels and be a couch potato ahahah.
Okay maybe not the couch potato part but I really want to watch so many movieeeees.

Just hang on there, it won't be longggg.

Hope is what we crave

Woah, 30 more days and yet I am still not there yet. Can someone please just tell me that there's still enough time and it's not too late? Please, anyone. :/

His Word has the power to save

Today, I am reminded that I should love Him and His Word more fiercely.

Memorising scriptures seems like a chore, a redundant one at that since we can just look up for scriptures on the Internet whenever we like and we conveniently get it. What's the point of memorising the Bible when we can flip through the pages and just get the verses when we need them?'

On the contary, I feel that there's more than that.
Memorising and remembering His Word is definitely not a chore.
A chore is something that you do because you have to do it, you complete it for the sake of simply getting it over and done with and you might not even enjoy it. A chore is something you spend time doing and completing it unwillingly.

Remembering scriptures is important, at least to me.
Today, I was reminded of how much I relied on them and the encouragement that they give me every single day.
It's about keeping God's Word and commands close to my heart,
so much so that I feel that He's speaking to me and He's always with me.
I know Him better everyday because the Bible verses are His Words.
I do it willingly simply because I want to and I want to plunge deeper into His Word each and everyday.
I don't even think the word "remembering" or "memorising" applies.
I don't memorise the Bible like how I memorise my geography textbook content :/ It's totally different!
I guess it's to the extent where you have came across these verses so many times that it just get stuck in your head and you just... remember them!
If that is under the category of memorising, then fine, hahah I memorise them!